The purpose of discussion changes as I change. I understand better now how one can become seemingly detached or disengaged in what one says because it isn’t always about me, or forging my opinions, at least not entirely. What it’s about, what role I play in an engagement, what facet of an exchange I’m actually engaged in, and what I’m intent on all changes.
Take, for example, the tactic of throwing in a different angle, a curve ball, into the fray with the intention of nurturing and fueling the discussion. Sure, I probably benefit in one way or another, but the attention is elsewhere to a certain degree, the focus is more on the nourishment of the discussion. Consequentially I might bring about something that might pertain more directly to my own development, learning, and growth, but the focus isn’t on engaging my view with the views of others. In that respect, I’m disengaged.
“Being disengaged from a single individuals opinion, or from many for that matter, doesn’t necessarily mean your disengaged from what you’re aiming to do. To me, it seems… it just depends on the current aims and the situation.
I’d say it is kind of ignoring someone, but not quite in the same way (or rather, to the same degree) of deliberately ignoring someone. And I wouldn’t necessarily argue against either; like I said, it depends. You might’ve noticed I ignored Smite’s commentary on me and Draeth in his Holocron; I don’t agree with it, but neither do I feel the need to argue the point.
In the way you argued certain points that weren’t you’re own on Ally’s show on the Force(towards the beginning of it), it could be said you weren’t engaging yourself with others (in the normal sense) because it wasn’t your point, it was a point. It still worked out well though, provided something (worth having) to the discussion, and I don’t think that’s a problem as long as you know where you stand for yourself.”
(Engage, Disengage | Excerpt from My Response)
Disengaging, distancing oneself from certain elements of a discussion, or even certain people for periods of time to gain a bit more persepctive, can be quite useful in the right situations. The bitch of it for a lot of folks is (probably) mostly this: can you trust yourself to judge when, where, and how to do this effectively? I don’t think most people are able to, they don’t know what they want to do, what they’re working towards, how to calculate actions with the desired ripples, nor do many possess the strength to carry out those actions or follow through with actually doing it.
(Written June 26th, 2012)