“Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.”
It’s probably fair to say that “restraint” can be a sign of weakness. More often than not, in fact. But like I’ve said before, including in one of my earlier posts here (Escapist Practices?), there isn’t really much of anything that’s exclusively a weakness or a strength; whatever it actually is in any given moment or situation is determined by ones level of awareness, and how a person chooses to use their qualities or circumstances in that moment. Some forms of restraint can be a sign of efficiency, intelligence, cunning, deliberate action, or purpose.
An anology: the piping for a sprinkler system, a system which inevitably has many twists and turns. If you’ve ever layed it, you know you want to minimize the elbows and the T’s to maximize the overall effectiveness of it. The less ups, downs, lefts, rights, etc. a pipe takes, the better it’ll work. Each corner takes away from the water pressure. To many, and the water won’t shoot out like it’s supposed to. It will drizzle out, falling far short of its purpose. Admittedly I’m better at laying actual sprinkler pipe, because – for whatever reasons – I tend to get absorbed in contemplations, and consequently, to create more bends in the metaphorical realm than there needs to be… but I think the point still stands.
It kind of goes back to what I was talking about when I quoted a passage from Narcissus & Goldmund by Herman Hesse. A Vessel of passion is like a vessel for water, it gives purpose to what it carries, or – looked at from a slightly different angle – has a purpose that the captured water is drafted into service for. This is actually something I’ve been doing a lot of lately, pouring the poisonous overflow of my spirit into things not seen by the people it’s meant for… at least not yet. And I’m not sure how much of it will be channeled in their direction, but I know there’s good reason for embracing the reserved, more calculating side of my nature in this.
There’s another part of me that revels in playing fast and loose, an approach I got used to back around the time I was throwing myself into the dark training at the FA, but when you’re engaging in sincere theatrics and letting gardens grow wild with minimal interference… that approach can be self-sabatoge. There’s a time for it, and I still indulge every now and then (after all, this post is evidence of that), but I’m not always going to just cut loose without forethought or rely that heavily on my intuitive side. The interaction of heart and head, for me, no longer needs to be a public spectacle in the same way it once was.
On that note, for those it may pertain to and those that are interested enough to keep an eye on all the potentially relevant sources of insight into the workings of the Dark Aspect, I think perhaps it’s nearly time to explain some of the reasoning behind my reserved approach. Perhaps not though… we’ll see. For now, I’ll simply put it this way: selective transparency – it can serve ones ambitions better than full disclosure or, what seems one of my favored shortcomings from time to time, getting caught up in ones own head.
(And for members of the DC, since I’m posting here first and you might see this before I get around to responding at the FA, just so you know I fully intend to address the question raised pertaining to longevity, I’ve had that on my mind in addition to other facets that were raised in terms of Vision.)