“People don’t hear each other. We talk to each other, but very seldom do we ever communicate.”
Listen, I’m done talking about a lot of shit at the FA. I really am just finished. Take a good look at that quote; through most of my teen years I used to bitch and moan about how people would just babble, bullshit, etc. with each other. That didn’t used to be the entirety of the experience with online forums, but you know what? That’s exactly what it is for me. Like Luciana said, we’ve been around the block a few times, we’ve heard a lot already that someone might bring up, we have our preferences. So yeah, the forums ran their course in that capacity for me; at least at this moment in time it’s no longer about me, my training, my exposure to new ideas. The position I’m in has changed, I’m not a student of the Aspect, I’m it’s leader. I have been there for more than just a few weeks or months, I’ve actively, sincerely engaged in the training and the discussion among just about all of the members. Now my reason for being there has changed.
The medium of the message board hasn’t run its course, but me trying to act like I’m still there for the same purpose or with the same aims and ambitions as I once was… that has run its course. The same is true with the Dark Knights of the FA. When you’re Knighted, it’s time to stop acting like a newb and start acting like a Knight; there’s a distinction for a reason! Yes, yes, yes, we’re all students no matter how far we go or what we accomplish. But when one achieves a title, it’s meant to be a sign of metamorphosis. How many flies do you see squirming around as if they’re still maggots without wings? How many butterflies refuse to fly? Many more than there should be in the places I haunt. Either it didn’t used to be like this, or my view of things a few years ago was distorted.
“I always hope that people will just build what they want to see, rather than getting caught up in debates that clearly tire them.”
But no, tired debates ensue. It is these that I refer to when I say I’m done. One was on leadership, just talk that hasn’t led to much of anything. One of those tiresome debates. Another has become one of whether we need to raise the stakes, and – if so – how it might be done. How much higher can you get when the choice is to surrender the DA to entropy completely or else fill the void left by the death of what the Dark Aspect once was and Will its rebirth? Are others really so blind that they can’t see what’s painfully clear to me even when I’ve flat out held it up on display for them? That address I gave was meant to be a hybrid of illusion and truth. But the mixture, the ratio, it isn’t fixed. It’s subject to change. If I need to make the potential End of the Dark Aspect a very real, very impending threat, I will.
(Written March 15th, 2012)