Think about it for a moment; just how many well-adjusted, successful newcomers have there been in the history of the Sith, or of most other dark spiritualities? Maybe there’s more than I think, but if so they’re probably still vastly outnumbered by the malcontent, the disenfranchised, the fractured, the bitter… Why are people so dissatisfied with their lives? I still wonder why that is, sometimes. One of the most obvious, truest answers isn’t something I’ve discovered all on my lonesome.
We are taught, we the people of societies, civilizations, cultures, to be anti-natural. That is why the morals we cling to – some in the beginning, others for their entire lives – fall by the wayside, it’s why we’ll eat each other alive if that’s the cost of survival. When the things we’ve been taught our whole lives give no answers, no satisfaction, and prove to be worthless or empty guidance in our times of need, we throw them away.
Whether their lost in the heat of the moment or rejected more deliberately, they don’t hold up. And many of us will be horrified by our own ability to do this, if only at first, and will often even feel guilty or regretful for the rest of our lives. The beliefs and values we’ve tried to internalize, to integrate into life, are usually a decadence, a sickness, and they usually begin to rot.
How many satisfied or successful people turn to darkness as a first resort? I would venture to guess that there’s not many. The vast majority of history, the relatively young ways of the Sith included, speaks to the common occurence of a great despair that precedes a persons plunge into the abyss that people like me call home. I know – or at least hope – that this is not the whole answer. If it is… what more could there be, how much farther can I go if the deepest answers are so shallow?
There must be more, because even though this seems like an easy or obvious answer it didn’t seem that way when my old, moral, externally dictated way of life began to rot. It seems easy now, but was in fact hard won. It has, in actual fact, taken me a good few years to come to this understanding, and that tells me that if there is more to be had it is not really a question of if, but of whether I will step up and wrench what I can in the coming years.
Rotting, of prevalent morality, nihilistic, anti-natural ways of living, as a first step – at least as a rule, to which there’s presumably exceptions to – of evolution within Darkness? There are, as I said, probably some exceptions to this, if it indeed is a ‘rule of thumb’. Assuming that, are the exceptions, the rarities, better or worse?
(First Written May 6th, 2012 // Last Tinkered With December 23rd, 2012)