Wanting to Believe

It occurred to me recently, when seeing someone talk about how much they want to believe in a benevolent creator, that maybe most people have that desire. That desire to believe some creator set things in motion, and that it all has a purpose. But there’s this question that pops up in my head, completely sincere: Why?

I don’t understand it. Never will.

Even if there was a god, it wouldn’t be one to believe in.

If ever there was an exercise in futitlity…..


Faith In Myself

I wander around the virtual world and come across quite a few new things. One of those things is AJ Poetry, and while some of his poems touch on lighter spirituality than I want anything to do with, a lot of it is pretty awesome by my estimation. A recent poem he posted was called A Poem For Those With Trials and included with it is a new thing he’s started doing, attaching a question relating to the subject matter for the reader to answer if he or she pleases.

“AJ Poetry Question O’ The Day: Sometimes in our hardest moments we need to have the faith that there is “light at the end of the tunnel” even if we don’t see it right away. After all, faith is a belief in that which is not seen, but is true.

What helps you make it through your trials or dark moments?”

The subject of faith was brought into it, and that’s something I’ve been mulling over a bit lately. Not faith in a christian or godly sense, but faith in myself and the darkness within me. That is a big part of what I hit against, internally, when I’m in the midst of hard times: a rock solid conviction that I’ll make it through and, eventually, be stronger for it. It’s that sort of faith in myself, that knowing that I’ll fight all the way, that brought me to an appreciation for and even enjoyment in hardship, suffering, pain. It’s stimulating, it’s a challenge.

(Fragment | Written July 2nd, 2012)


Faith In The Dark Side

I wrote, “…what is faith to you apart from it’s religious application? Does it play a role in your path as a darksider? Do you have faith in yourself or is it something different? Do you have faith in Darkness? In anything? Why, or why not?”

I’d say, after pondering it a bit, that it does play a role for me.

I’ve heard it said that there’s strength in faith… and do I have it? I’d say so: Faith in Myself. To get through and survive – and become stronger for the experiences, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – no matter what circumstance or hardship, ups or downs, no matter what kind of doubts cross my mind. Therefore I have faith in the Dark (ref. Darkness is and the Individual).

Now… if we talk more about trust, there’s the question of what you trust someone or something to do. Do I trust myself, and by extension ‘the Dark’ (abstractly and individually), to serve my best interests? I’d say yes. When it comes to other people though, perhaps the question changes. I don’t think you can trust people or situations in the same way.

If there’s any to be had at all towards things of a more external placement… People for instance, I’d say it’s more of a question of trusting a person to be more or less true to their own nature, whether they’re scumbag pieces of shit, or the kind of man/woman you respect and admire. And with situations, I guess you might say that there are always oppurtunities of some sort to be found, or ways to survive them, so long as you can find them. Both of which would bring the actual trust/faith back to oneself.

To trust people in any way whatsoever, it seems that you’d have to trust you ability to percieve and judge them effectively. To trust the situations and experiences you encounter throughout life will be either survivable or beneficial would seem to require that you have faith in your own abilty to gauge them, seem as many angles as you need to, and follow through with the choices one needs to make to survive or thrive through it.

(From Faith In The Dark Side | A Discussion at the Force Academy)