self centered

We’re All Selfish

“Genuine selflessness usually lies in the more mundane of actions. Of course giving 10 bucks to a charity is indirectly self-serving, it makes me feel better contributing to the community. However, getting up at 6 AM with the kids so that my mother might get some much needed rest, is not. That’s because I love my mother and I want to make her life a bit easier when I can.”
~Anirac Morgan

And yet…

“That’s because I love my mother and I want to make her life a bit easier when I can.”
~Anirac Morgan

I’m failing to see how it’s not self-centric.

Nothing you can do will ever revolve around someone else.

There’s a difference between being self-absorbed and being self-centered. There’s also a difference between those two things (both categorized hapharzardly by you and Vandor as ‘selfish’) and ‘true selflessness’. The latter is mistakenly believed to be different because of an incomplete awareness. See the above quotes. Self-centric, despite that you’re not focusing on the source of your actions.

We’re all selfish. Recognizing that is just a matter of self awareness.


(Posted in Happiness & Service ♠ a discussion thread at the Force Academy.)

Due Consideration

(Free-write on the idea of seeking agreement and how disagreement is taken?…)

You know… I don’t always want people to agree with me. Aside from the fact that I can’t be ‘right’ about everything, %100 percent of the time, personal preference comes into the equation. So does experience, but I don’t really factor that in as much when I’m dealing with people, because more often than not it still goes back to preference. But when there is disagreement, most of the time… I try to give some consideration to viewpoints that contrast with mine, and hope that the same respect is afforded in return.

With people I genuinely feel to be either stupid or stubborn, I sometimes get angry and do what I can to affect them, to make them consider my perspective, but there are times I’ve felt that someone was being dismissive, or wasn’t grasping my point(s), when in fact they completely understood. They just disagreed. Very rarely do I feel this way, at least with the former, but every now and then I do.

It helps to know the difference, to learn to spot it, and to ask questions to find out if need be, for the sake of effective communication. If nothing else, I think it’s important that people don’t feel like they’re wasting their time with each other – I know that when it comes to my own choice as to whether to bother, I don’t like wasting my time and elect not to where and when I think it’s going to happen.

But I’ve also been returning to an earlier disposition I once had, because the fact is, no interaction is a waste of time unless I make it so. Worst case scenario, an exchange or conversation goes nowhere, but there would still be the option to learn something. The fact is, whoever you deal with, whatever you do, you’re the only one that can choose to make anything a waste of your time.

Faith In Myself

I wander around the virtual world and come across quite a few new things. One of those things is AJ Poetry, and while some of his poems touch on lighter spirituality than I want anything to do with, a lot of it is pretty awesome by my estimation. A recent poem he posted was called A Poem For Those With Trials and included with it is a new thing he’s started doing, attaching a question relating to the subject matter for the reader to answer if he or she pleases.

“AJ Poetry Question O’ The Day: Sometimes in our hardest moments we need to have the faith that there is “light at the end of the tunnel” even if we don’t see it right away. After all, faith is a belief in that which is not seen, but is true.

What helps you make it through your trials or dark moments?”

The subject of faith was brought into it, and that’s something I’ve been mulling over a bit lately. Not faith in a christian or godly sense, but faith in myself and the darkness within me. That is a big part of what I hit against, internally, when I’m in the midst of hard times: a rock solid conviction that I’ll make it through and, eventually, be stronger for it. It’s that sort of faith in myself, that knowing that I’ll fight all the way, that brought me to an appreciation for and even enjoyment in hardship, suffering, pain. It’s stimulating, it’s a challenge.

(Fragment | Written July 2nd, 2012)

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Solopsism (Richard’s Critique)

On Richard’s Critique

Here’s one way to look at it…

Richard says: Darkness is about the Individual.
Darkie-Wannabe: Everything it about me. Me, me, me.
Khaos says: Respect the Individual, not just yourself.
Richard says: Bah, this is self-centeredness perpetuates the teribble lie that any of us matter.
Draconis says: There is a difference between being Self-Centered and Self-Absorbed. One is effective, the other is self-deceit and self-sabotage.
Khaos says: Respect The Individual, not just yourself.
I say: Yep.

I hardly need to entertain the notion of not mattering, it’s old ground to me; the primary value of Richard’s critique is probably to those that haven’t considered this, so as Khaos said earlier on in the discussion that followed, if you have something different, put it up. Individuals will decide what training they want or need. Diversity provides for people to find their own way, often through violently conflicting, polarized teachings.

Faith In The Dark Side

I wrote, “…what is faith to you apart from it’s religious application? Does it play a role in your path as a darksider? Do you have faith in yourself or is it something different? Do you have faith in Darkness? In anything? Why, or why not?”

I’d say, after pondering it a bit, that it does play a role for me.

I’ve heard it said that there’s strength in faith… and do I have it? I’d say so: Faith in Myself. To get through and survive – and become stronger for the experiences, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – no matter what circumstance or hardship, ups or downs, no matter what kind of doubts cross my mind. Therefore I have faith in the Dark (ref. Darkness is and the Individual).

Now… if we talk more about trust, there’s the question of what you trust someone or something to do. Do I trust myself, and by extension ‘the Dark’ (abstractly and individually), to serve my best interests? I’d say yes. When it comes to other people though, perhaps the question changes. I don’t think you can trust people or situations in the same way.

If there’s any to be had at all towards things of a more external placement… People for instance, I’d say it’s more of a question of trusting a person to be more or less true to their own nature, whether they’re scumbag pieces of shit, or the kind of man/woman you respect and admire. And with situations, I guess you might say that there are always oppurtunities of some sort to be found, or ways to survive them, so long as you can find them. Both of which would bring the actual trust/faith back to oneself.

To trust people in any way whatsoever, it seems that you’d have to trust you ability to percieve and judge them effectively. To trust the situations and experiences you encounter throughout life will be either survivable or beneficial would seem to require that you have faith in your own abilty to gauge them, seem as many angles as you need to, and follow through with the choices one needs to make to survive or thrive through it.

(From Faith In The Dark Side | A Discussion at the Force Academy)

Noble Superiority

“There is nothing noble about being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
~ Ernest Hemingway

I have no idea what the context is – I don’t recall actually reading any of Hemingway’s works yet – but I like the idea of this in that the point of reference isn’t outside of oneself, it revolves around the individual alone. Regarding the context of hierarchies, I don’t think it’s practical to ignore some degree of comparison, but it’s relative to the context. It’s a good sentiment for dark siders looking to progress and grow but inexperienced and unaware of where to center their focus at.

It’s a given to the experienced adept though – or so I would assume: one that is experienced surely must have surpassed their former self a good few times, so would naturally be superior to most of his or her fellow men as a consequence. And I think people can reach a point where comparing the self to ones former self is a matter of course, and one can then pay some attention to relevant comparisons outside of oneself without losing sight of one’s Self as the true point of reference in measuring progression.

“A Sith need not compare themselves to others. To look beyond the self before it’s time is to follow an illusion. Comparison is all smoke and mirrors, deamons of the weak self.”
~ Miles Robinson, Sith Lord

(Written July 1st | Edited July 9th | A fragment of my thoughts on comparison based superiority.)