self displaced

We’re All Selfish

“Genuine selflessness usually lies in the more mundane of actions. Of course giving 10 bucks to a charity is indirectly self-serving, it makes me feel better contributing to the community. However, getting up at 6 AM with the kids so that my mother might get some much needed rest, is not. That’s because I love my mother and I want to make her life a bit easier when I can.”
~Anirac Morgan

And yet…

“That’s because I love my mother and I want to make her life a bit easier when I can.”
~Anirac Morgan

I’m failing to see how it’s not self-centric.

Nothing you can do will ever revolve around someone else.

There’s a difference between being self-absorbed and being self-centered. There’s also a difference between those two things (both categorized hapharzardly by you and Vandor as ‘selfish’) and ‘true selflessness’. The latter is mistakenly believed to be different because of an incomplete awareness. See the above quotes. Self-centric, despite that you’re not focusing on the source of your actions.

We’re all selfish. Recognizing that is just a matter of self awareness.


(Posted in Happiness & Service ♠ a discussion thread at the Force Academy.)

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Life-Sensitive

(Written March 16th, 2011 / Note: the termlifesensitivewas added, and is a (hopefully obvious) play on the termforcesensitive“.)

I was reading (actually re-reading) Exile, one of the books of the Legacy era during Jacen Solo’s transformation into Darth Caedus. I found myself thinking of my own situation…

“There was a thought circling the periphery of his awareness. It was something Captain Lavint had sparked into existence, something Wedge had fanned into a live flame. But he couldn’t quite bring it into focus.

Well then, he needed to look more closely.

Captain Lavint thought Jacen used to be a hero. Clearly, if such things were measured by numbers of admirerers, he was now a greater hero than he ever had been, and yet she thought he no longer constituted one. Why? Because he’d passed judgment on her? Perhaps. Maybe it was because the sentence he’d passed on her was one that would’ve broken his father’s heart, or the heart of any smuggler. Perhaps it was because he’d hurt her where she was most vulnerable. It wasn’t necessarily a heroic thing to do, he conceded, but it was fair. So let’s dismiss that for now.

Wedge thought the loss of his sense of humor meant that he’d become a fanatic of some sort. Whether it had or not, Jacen had to admit, it did mark a change in him.”
~Excerpt

In reading this, it fanned something of my own into a live flame. I’ve almost said it, in the past and even in my most recent posts, but the essence of one of the victories I take has only been alluded to. ‘Til now.

I am a life-sensitive person. My romanticism, my passions, my spiteful hatred, tumulteous descents, battered love, and more speak to this. This is why I have the capacity to thrive on pain and anger, and why I’ve been tentatively working with joy and happiness (even as my despairing boar sits atop the usually gleeful, downtrodden bullfrog, and even as my hate bites and snarls my loving bear even as the bear embraces it). I am sensitive, and so I feel with intensity, my emotions run high and animate my life. And they guide me towards passion manifest, because they’re its tendrils, reaching out.

I have had moments where I feel like I’m not hurting. This is disassociative from what’s really going on though, escape, numbness. But the pain is there, and it is precious. I’ve been on about it so much, it seems like I’m whinning, and it’s uncomfortable to do that, but what I feel is what I feel, and expression is liberating. I choose expression, openness, but I exercise this power with strength so that expression brings growth, serves my Self, my Passion. I am not always graceful.

My deep hurt at her betrayal and her dishonesty.
My worry for a fellow when reading about his seizure.
My desire, my yearning, to paint with words.
My pleasure and envy at the visual art another has shared.
My resolve to rise.

All of these and far, far more. They are mine and they are precious, they are Passion in so many forms, whispering, guiding, molding, growing, unfurling.

(Written March 16th, 2011)

Noble Superiority

“There is nothing noble about being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
~ Ernest Hemingway

I have no idea what the context is – I don’t recall actually reading any of Hemingway’s works yet – but I like the idea of this in that the point of reference isn’t outside of oneself, it revolves around the individual alone. Regarding the context of hierarchies, I don’t think it’s practical to ignore some degree of comparison, but it’s relative to the context. It’s a good sentiment for dark siders looking to progress and grow but inexperienced and unaware of where to center their focus at.

It’s a given to the experienced adept though – or so I would assume: one that is experienced surely must have surpassed their former self a good few times, so would naturally be superior to most of his or her fellow men as a consequence. And I think people can reach a point where comparing the self to ones former self is a matter of course, and one can then pay some attention to relevant comparisons outside of oneself without losing sight of one’s Self as the true point of reference in measuring progression.

“A Sith need not compare themselves to others. To look beyond the self before it’s time is to follow an illusion. Comparison is all smoke and mirrors, deamons of the weak self.”
~ Miles Robinson, Sith Lord

(Written July 1st | Edited July 9th | A fragment of my thoughts on comparison based superiority.)