Wanting to Believe

It occurred to me recently, when seeing someone talk about how much they want to believe in a benevolent creator, that maybe most people have that desire. That desire to believe some creator set things in motion, and that it all has a purpose. But there’s this question that pops up in my head, completely sincere: Why?

I don’t understand it. Never will.

Even if there was a god, it wouldn’t be one to believe in.

If ever there was an exercise in futitlity…..


Angels & Demons, If I Were God

(Written November 6th, 2011)


It’s not really part of my paradigm, not imagery I use regularly, but it’s interesting to liken emotions to angels and demons. Maybe that metaphor can offer a glimpse of my own experiences, or give someone else a better understanding of their own emotions… That’s not really my intent, but if it happens to kudos to me I guess.

So, in this, I’d be God. And I’d be mankind. Think of man as what is, and God as my potential, as what could be.

Demons, in the sense of fallen angels, aren’t any less than their heaven loving kin. They live in different places, their darkness obvious (honestly displayed) to whoever glances their way, and they probably behave a bit differently. Anger, Hate, Envy, Sadness, and so on… they are Demons.

Angels, light as they may seem, are beings of darkness. The light serves to decieve, hide, and protect their true nature from the imperceptive onlookers. But they are righteous, even manipulative. Their conduct is reflective of their service to God, where as the demons service is harder to see and understand (or appreciate).

With me so far? All of them are powerful, they’re  the same in essence, and they serve God.

I am A god.

So are you.

(Written November 6th, 2011)

A Random Comment

“All have the potential to be powerful. What separates them is whether they seek to grasp such power and rise above all else. Those who seek will find.”
~Darth Amavi

The above quote was a comment from a fellow calling himself Amavi. It was a comment on a piece I wrote and posted on a blog project I had going at the time, and that goes back at least as far as October of 2007 (and it probably goes further back than that, but the original forum and post are long gone).

What I wrote about… was the superiority of the Sith, about the motivations and the fact that Sith actively strengthen ourselves. And even then, I acknowledged it as an extremely arrogant assertions… *shrugs* The point: I don’t know who this guy was, or even if it was a guy, but I know that what he said was particularly apt.

Some Never See

If you look at the amount of people who have come and gone versus the ones that decide they’re here to stay as members of the online forums alone, there’s many, many more in the former category.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to get what I can out of discussions with the ones that are, ultimately, only passing through. But still, so many path-hoppers over the years, so many that’ve come and gone… it’s something that baffles me even more than the virtually silent new kids. To become so involved and to put so much in only to leave it all behind… did they every really, truly care? Well, probably… but they also stopped caring, somewhere along the line.

I don’t know… I can’t help but feel like there are so few like me, so few that are sincerely Sith to the core… Here’s a thought on one thing that might be a distinction between a “Knight” and a “Lord”: Vision, fueled and shaped by a passion for the development, experimentation, and elevation of this Way of Life.

The ones that get to a point where they’re recognized as Knights are still blind most of the time. And that blindness, that lack of vision, maybe that’s a part of why they stop communicating and never advance beyond Knighthood. They might attain a sort of Lordship of themselves in a sense, but not of the Sith Way, not in my opinion.

That’s really a significant part of what it means to have, believe in, and live by such grandiose titles as the ones we use. It’s someone that’s a Lord of the Way, that has the Sight and the Voice, and the Will to realize it. Not a leader of men and women… because if any student of the path is looking for one, they need to look in the fucking mirror. If they can’t find one in that reflection, they need to rethink their affiliation with Darkness.

(Written December 12th, 2011)

The Center

The center is me.
The center is the universe.
I am the universe.
I am the center.

I am the center of my universe.
I am the center of my own reality.
My reality is a universe,
This universe is me,

Is Mine!

We all have a universe.
We all have a center.
Where is yours?

(Written January 12th, 2010)

Made in God’s Image?

I see God every day.
When I’m shaving or washing my hands.
When I get clothes out of my dresser drawers.
When I pass by a window.
When I look in the mirror.

I see His influence every day.
When I’m mowing lawns.
When I go out to eat.
When I come knocking and a friend answers the door.
When I look people in the eye.

I see his creations every day.
When I look at the crude painting on my bookshelf.
When I read an essay in progress.
When I take stock of a newly trimmed shrub or tree.
When I look at my handiwork.

I see other Gods every day.
When I watch t.v.
When I walk into a store.
When I talk to customers throughout the day.
When I look at other Individuals.

I am an Individual.
I am Divinity.
In body, mind and heart.
So are you.

Am I made in God’s image?
I am what I decide to be.
I’m a puppet with self-made strings.
I’m made in my own visage.
So yes.

“I went to God just to see,
and I was looking at me.”
Marilyn Manson (lyrics)

Ask yourself though.
Figure out where you stand.
What you think.
What you feel.
Find your own answer.
I don’t care what it is.
But you might care.